This FREE Book Eliminates the Need for Christian Marriage Counseling…Guaranteed!

by Joel & Kathy

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{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }

alex cruz king June 17, 2010 at 5:00 pm

Hello, I have been married for 3 years and my husband and I are both christians, we were’ born and raised in christian homes yet we have not consumated our marriage. I’ve spoken to him about this and asked him to seek medical treatment and he says that he does not have a problem. I’ve done everything to him, I’ve stripped down, dressed up, gone where ever he wants to go thinking that if I do or go where he wants to go, something will happen. This has not been the case. I’m getting to the point where I’m giving up on losing my virginity even though I’ve been married for 3 years. He will not touch me. I’ve tried foreplay with him and all he has done was move me to one side and turn the TV on to ESPN. Weeks ago I initiated a romantic nite in bed and he laughed at me and turned the opposite way. I’m thinking that maybe it’s just easier if I just don’t expect it. He has told me that he is not interested in sex and has no desire to do it. Please help. I’ve given up thinking there’s a chance of me becoming a woman.

Pat July 12, 2010 at 5:07 am

I tried to show your videos to my husband. He got up in the middle of it and left. He came back in and had looked up version after version–ALL translating Eph. 5 as saying wives submit to your husbands–and that therefore that it must be in the original Greek. (which does make sense),…and therefore anything else you would say is to be dismissed…which I disagree with. He also said he’d talked with our pastor who said it says for wives to submit to their husbands… (as does every other one I’ve heard.)

PLEASE elaborate and substantiate and elaborate on your claim that hupotasso is not in the original Greek there (or what of other similar admonissions/ like passage re. wives to husbands ie. 1 Pet. 3:1 .) How did you arrive a that conclusion that it isn’t in the original and about your interpretation?

I looked up submit in Strongs and it IS there. KJV italicizes words not in the original and it is not italicized.

Also, there are other places that tell wives to submit to husbands….and then there is 1 Pet. 2:18-25 for background–with then 1 Pet. 3:1 Likewise ye wives.–therefore: even if he’s abusive….. While I find this chokingly hard to read, and feel more than a little “emotional” about it–I am reminded that His ways are not our ways; and that we are not to lean on our own understanding, but in all ways to acknowledge Him and He shall direct our paths; and that the Lord shall fight for you today. …

God ordained positions of authority in society so that we could live in a reasonably ordered and stable life–especially for the raising and protection of children; and for other reasons. The sin natures corrupt it, but that doesn’t take God by surprise and he still ordains systems of authority. Remember the Jews told to submit to Nebuchadnezzar –despite his ego centric/tyrannical/evil conduct? Remember what God did to him to teach him who is really ultimately in charge and who allowed him his authority?–and who can take it away from him?–

I also wonder about the grammatical form of hupotasso being used–as that can change the meaning of some words in the Greek ; and the related words can also. ie. I think I read one word in Strongs that indicated a coming under the PROTECTION OF…, which may be how it’s used re. wives to husbands–and it totally fits for marriage,–but maybe I’m stretching the word. (Perhaps it means to come under his protective godly leadership (and I don’t mean as a child!) A man that makes it safe (in all ways) for his wife–enables her to focus on her God-given role as mother, teacher,and homemaker, wife, and Christian in the wider societal roles. A man that facilitates that, and is cooperating with her and being a sensitive, loving, godly servant-leader/protector (As Jesus most certainly taught) is certainly following God; and one who hinders it is not. But if he is not–it appears that we need to suffer that anyway. (Though it sure makes for a miserable “family” life and is a rotten example to the kids; (and we will ALL have to give account to Jesus some day.)

Wives are not to depart–but if they depart… (that passage suggests to me that God recognizes that some situations become so intolerable that the wife may need to leave.) She must just stay single–(or be reconciled)–singleness is something that is appealing…after some “marriages”.

We are to follow God and be obedient to Him and honor Him, even if it hurts. And unless God mercifully intervenes big time in some “marriages”, I guess there will be big pain– regardless–and like Job, he may have purpose in that for some.

What healthy Christian woman would not be able to respond to a truly sensitive, kind, thoughtful, kind, gentle, loving, attentive, godly husband/servant-leader/protector (not jailer)–kind, considerate, healing, etc.. Women are indeed responders and responses to abuse or neglect and the indescribable hurt and harm it does can take the form of reacting badly–a natural response like one who writhes uncontrollably/autonomically when one cuts of the air supply–a vital need being denied. But somehow, God, by God, wants us to respond with grace–even to evil/abusive people–something we can only do when controlled by the Holy Spirit. I am not that “grown” yet, but while Satan means it for evil, God means it for good; for when I am tried by fire, I shall come forth as gold. He who has begun a good work in me will see it through, so I know He will get me where He intends to, but I would surely like to know about this. I know that God did not ordain marriage to make misery an institution .

While I wonder about a couple of things you said–this being one–much of what you two say is so very right on and could–if the husbands were to take it to heart–indeed facilitate the healing of many a marriage…and they could even be the joyful partnerships–as God intended.

I will be very much looking forward to your answer.

To God be the glory,
Please pray for me/us all!

Thank you

Oscar September 25, 2010 at 2:11 pm

Hi Joel and Kathy,
I’m leaving a note here because my email to you was returned.

Congratulations on saving your marriage.
And many others through your course.

My wife and I have been married for almost 47 years.
But many of them were BAD just like yours.
When we met Jesus and surrendered our lives to Him,
everything changed for the better.
We have now been working for Him for 36 years doing counseling in jail.
and we love it.
So I thought I would download your free ebook in case
we could learn something new from it, that we could use in our ministry.

Did you actually look up the Greek and Hebrew words in Strong’s concordance ?????
I mean the verses in Ephesians Corinthians.

We liked your video testimony; especially the last part.

But you really hurt my wife and me in our spirit when you used an idle word
The Lord took all my idle words away from me and my wife when we became born-again.

God Bless

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