Christian Marriage Advice-Should You Keep Low Expectations?

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by Joel & Kathy

A commonly heard complaint from many of the couples we work with is that their married life is so radically different from their dating life. Boyfriends who used to open doors and pull out chairs have become husbands who no longer bother, and girlfriends who used to listen have become wives who nag. What you get is a marriage in danger of failing and a lot of unhappy and unfulfilled husbands and wives.

If this sounds at all familiar to you, I urge you to consider getting Christian marriage help. We’ve even put together a free DVD to help you on your way! My husband Joel and I have been able to help over 10,000 couples overcome the problems plaguing their marriages. We would love to help you too.

We accept this sea change in our marriages as a natural progression; we’re told that’s just the way it is. Conventional Christian marriage advice says that we are expecting too much out of our marriage, and we ought to just lower those high expectations. Often the myth of married life as miserable is played up in sitcoms and on movie screens. But this is the wrong way to think about our marriages. You must never, ever lower the expectations you have for your relationship.

God did not give us the gift of matrimony so that we would be unhappy. God never once planned for our marriages to be less wonderful than our dating relationships. God is precisely the same yesterday, today, and forever. He never intended for our marriages to take on a Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde life of their own. What we present to our spouses in the beginning is what we must continue living throughout our marriage. Joel and I believe that Christian marriage counseling should revolve around the fact that God loves us and wants us to love each other through marriage. This is why we must remember to honor our vows to love, honor, and cherish our husbands and wives today as we loved, honored, and cherished them before we were married. Through God’s strength and love, we can enjoy a relationship that is exciting and fulfilling for years after it first began.

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