When Dad Gets Fixed, EVERYONE Gets Touched!

by Joel & Kathy

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Do you remember a month ago, the testimony about 12 Days To a Miracle? That testimony has grown! The following are testimonies that have come in from Chris, Michelle and four of their children!

Michelle and Chris Pastor a church and have seven children! They were visiting Ignited Church on New Years Eve. Pastor Stephen Strader invited us to share from the platform and we gave a ten minute testimony of what God has done in our life and what he has done in the marriages of three other couples who were in attendance at the same New Years Eve Praise and Worship meeting.

Pastor Stephen had also invited us to set up a product table. Forty couples purchased a set of “The Man of Her Dreams/The Woman of His!” and “Livin’ it and Lovin’ It!” One of those couples was Chris and Michelle. Their life has been changed!

Michelle read the book and realized that Chris had not been the husband that he needed to be for many years. The two books and an ultimatum – Chris read the books and received the message immediately. We posted the original letters in a newsletter last month. Here are updates from more of the family!

From Alana, Michelle and Chris’s 17 year old daughter:

Hey mom, this is Alanah.

You asked me to write my impression of Dad’s change since going to Lakeland on New Years Eve and meeting the Davisson’s. Well, it has been awesome!

It was probably hard for him, but I think he took it pretty well actually – the change I mean. He didn’t like freak out and rebel like most immature people do. He just accepted he was in the wrong and did something about it.

I’m not saying it was easy for him, but if he can do it then us kids can. I knew that when dad changed it would change our whole family. I just wasn’t sure how that would affect us. Now I know that that we have to take that spirit off of us that was on him – just like he did.

It’s kinda weird to see you and dad always hugging and being close now, but it’s a good weird! Ha ha. It’s good – we’re just not used to it = )

What I think is cool is how mom isn’t sick anymore. You don’t freak out as much. You don’t seem so stressed and you’re smiling ALOT more.

And I noticed a difference when you guys work together.. Dad really wants to help you with EVERYTHING. You guys can calmly discuss things about work, and family, and church without arguing! All because dad chose to change! One right decision had a ripple effect of blessings and that’s what I thought was so cool! = )

Awesome Alana! Letters like this make us happy, happy, happy! Joel and Kathy

From Megan, 18 year old daughter, concerning the change in dad:

Well, the transformation was like night and day. Before dad changed, he was never mean or anything, but he wasn’t happy like he is now. Every time I see dad I can see this joy surrounding him. A joy that was never there before. Its awesome to see. I only see him at work and church and I’ve noticed a tremendous difference, so the other kids probably can say even more about his change. Dad I think it’s awesome you were able to admit you were wrong for so long in your marriage. That could not have been easy, but the result has been amazing. Mom has never been happier. Its awesome to see you guys so in love with each other.

From Dan, the 14 year old son:

It wasn’t very hard to see that there was something more than wrong in my parents relationship. But when dad finally changed everything got a whole lot better.

The change in dad brought changes in everyone else in our family, including me. Now that dad changed everyone gets along, All The thanks goes to God and also to mom for not giving up on her ‘mission’ to change my dad.

From Tim, the 15 year old son:

The change in dad was incredible!! I noticed there was something going on between mom in dad in those marriage-threatening three days before he was transformed and I didn’t like it- not one bit. I would try and talk to dad and he would have this look that said, “just go away!!! Im thinking!!!” haha – and mom was just angry with dad.

She had read this book about marriage and finally saw that all the problems in their marriage was dads fault. I guess dad couldn’t accept that and so he blocked out the world for three days. Thankfully though, God set dad straight and he made him see that he was actually the problem all those years!!

and now… Dad is so different! Mom and dad are always hugging and kissing (I tease them about it all the time :D ) and they are so happy!

Dad has changed drastically all thanks to Mom and God.

Whoot, go dad!
and mom.
and God!!!

From Chris (the husband) of Chris and Michelle:

Wow! My life has changed so much! Michelle calls the change, “From Jerk to Awesome!” (I love her calling me “awesome!” and I deserve it now!)

After I repented to God and Michelle for the way I had treated her over the years I was able to see all the times in my life where I had missed the opportunities to love Michelle.

Over the years I had developed the attitude that I was right and Michelle was wrong in our marriage. After all she was the one that was always screaming and yelling. I thought since I wasn’t the one yelling then I must be right.

I always thought if people just treated each other nicely then we wouldn’t have any problems.

My thoughts were that marriage was a 50/50 deal. I thought she wasn’t pulling her weight.

My love for her was not unconditional, it was very conditional. After being a believer for 16 years you would think I knew what it meant to love someone unconditionally – but I did not.

I still have a hard time believing I was so deceived for so long. Now my eyes are opened and I can see all the times I missed it. When Michelle brings up something from our past now I can just say “I’m sorry” and really let her know that I was wrong.

Before I changed, if Michelle brought anything up from our past it would make me mad and I would walk out of the room. It is amazing how much peace I have now and how much God has opened me up to give and receive love. I feel like I can love anyone and also feel like it is very fulfilling to be able to love others.

I really want to make up the years to my wife that I neglected her needs. It gives me a whole new outlook about my life.

From Michelle, (the wife) of Chris and Michelle:

Chris and I were saved but were in the desert in our marriage for 16 years wandering around.

Since my husband was in the desert, I was also in the desert, like it or not since I am married to him.

I have yearned for the day of being in the promised land in our marriage.
I believed by faith, “we will get there!”

After reading Joel and Kathy’s books and watching the DVD set, Chris and I are in the promised land of milk and honey in our marriage!

The Promised land is a place where no self, no ego, and no pride lives.


I had been babying Chris and trying to make him happy so that he would go to Revival meetings last summer. That did not help.

Finally, we made it to Lakeland in January. The Lakeland Revival had broken out there the previous year. We needed a miracle! Guess who was there! Joel and Kathy. They shared from the platform and we bought their books.

Because we went to Ignited Church on New Years Eve, met Joel and Kathy and read their book, we finally obtained BREAKTHROUGH,! Chris’s eyes are completely OPEN TO SEE WHAT WAS WRONG WITH HIM AND HE REPENTED!

I challenge all married couples to read that book! Obey it, and your marriage will get out of the desert. I promise you it will happen to you the same way it happened to us in our marriage!

When a wife yells or screams, it is because she hurts! Men, do not allow your wife to act like that by hurting her with your pride and ego. You can stop her right now by pouring the love of God into her.

Get her face to glow today! Love her, and honor her. If you love God JUST DO IT before you lose your wife, before another year is wasted in the desert.

Here are those original letters from Chris and Michelle:

Twelve days to a miracle!

From Chris – husband, father of 7 and with his wife Michelle are Pastors. We received this one week after they met us and purchased the books and DVD set on New Year’s Eve:

Dear Joel and Kathy,

I just met you at the New Years Ablaze at Ignited Church over the New Year weekend.

Things really hit the fan after my wife read your book!

I have been listening to your DVDs and my whole world has turned upside down.

I don’t even feel like I know who I am anymore! I really believe what you are saying about husbands and know I need to change.

I messed the marriage up myself. I don’t want to go that route anymore.

Second letter we received from Chris just a few days later:

Wow!! After my wife read your book she became extremely upset. She threatened to divorce!

We watched your DVD at church and it really got to me. I went to my office late that night and really repented of what I was doing. I feel like I was really set free!!

I am not a dominant type so that was not our problem.

My problem was I was blaming her for all our problems.

One segment in your DVD nailed me to the wall.

You talked about the type of husband who just sits there and does not talk when his wife yells and even when she escalates to screaming. He sits and thinks he is “so Godly” because he is not talking to her. (As he silently sings to himself, “I shall not be, I shall NOT be moved!”) That was me. I was convinced everything was her fault.

After reading your books, Michelle talked about all the things that bothered her; things that I had done over the years. I could really see where I had been selfish and not dead to self like I am supposed to be.

If she would have brought all those things up one week ago I would have left the room and thought she was so messed up.

I could really see where I was wrong in each situation (truly a miracle!) and I didn’t even get upset. I told her I was really sorry (many times).

I really believe what you say about the husband being able to heal his wife by representing Christ likeness.

If I had not read the book or watched the DVD I would not have been able to really repent. I would have said “I’m sorry.” only to save the marriage but I don’t think anything would have changed. The same problems would have lingered for who knows how many more years.

I feel like I have been set free.

It feels like when I was first born again.

The freedom is amazing.

I really want to make my wife the happiest women on the earth and our kids the best kids they can be. Now I feel like I can make it happen.

I didn’t know I was so blinded concerning our marriage. Thanks for going through and paving the way for the rest of us!! I never would have gotten this on my own.


From Chris’s wife, Michelle. We received this today, January 13, 2009; 12 days after the New Years Eve service. 12 Days to a Miracle!

Dear Joel and Kathy,

I have to brag this for the glory of God.

I just got a brand new husband, who has Chirst likeness now! My old husband had self pity and fear of losing love.

Chris had a car accident when he was 11 years old and lost his Mom. He was in the car with her. He woke up in the hospital and couldn’t wait to tell his Mom the story of the car accident. Later, he found out that she was already dead. He never went through a healing process. This created childhood baggage that caused him to not give 100 percent to our marriage. He was afraid of losing me like he had lost his mom – and he had never grown up.

ALL THAT IS CHANGING NOW! The other day he repented and cried for 2 hours. He realized that it was time for him to grow up; otherwise he was about to lose me. He had to either choose me or his old self pity and fear that he has kept all these years.

Joel and Kathy said in the book that a husband is not to mistreat his wife, simply because he has past baggage. It is bad for both husband and wife. They said that a man cannot blame his bad treatment of his wife on his or her “past baggage.”

When a couple blames their problems on past baggage, then they will never grow into maturity and will never have a great marriage. Joel and Kathy said that my husband would have to get over that past baggage and love me so that he could become the person God has called him to be.

I listened to that counsel, and I wasn’t going to have his stronghold of “old man bully” to bully me anymore, 20 years is long enough!

I, as Chris’s wife, have every right to ask him to love me and respect me; 100 percent.

That is the reason I gave him the ultimatum: either change and begin to love me 100 percent or leave me.

I want what is best for my hubby, and he got it!

He changed overnight!

He chose me and God over the devil and flesh!

The fear devil left him when he repented and the Holy Spirit came and ministered him. My hubby got what God wanted him to have!

He got his first love back with me and his Lord – both at once!

Yes, it has only been 1½ days but the change is wonderful!

The affection and love he is pouring out on me is so much I can hardly take it! I just need to adjust to this new husband I think.(My husband is acting like his heavenly Father: He is giving me so much love that I cannot contain it all!)

His heart feels so warm, and his words are so sweet to me. His eyes are so caring. It is just like having Jesus in my home in Chris’s body!

He says I know more than he does because I am more intuitive. Chris says that he will be listening to me more to prevent mistakes in the future.

My heart is so overwhelmed and I am falling love with him all over again.

Husbands, if you will love your wife as Christ loves the church, then she will fall in love with you all over again. She will do anything for you.

Joel and Kathy’s book really works.

Chris also told our children that in our 21 years of marriage, he was the one causing the problems and that I was (almost) always right when we had problems. Now THAT is a REAL man when a man can admit that! That is what turned Joel around and it also has turned my husband around!

Husbands can you really from the bottom of your heart say that kind of thing to your wife? No, you cannot, unless you have died to self.

Chris is so mature to admit all that!!!!

He is a champion!!! My husband – the champion! That sounds SO nice! I finally can say it because it is TRUE!

If you die to your ego, then your wife can come alive and enjoy your love.

I was already a happy person before this new husband showed up. Now I am extra happy because my Hubby is filling me up with love by touching, caring, kissing, hugging and honoring me front of our children.

The Glory of God is all over me, him, my kids, my family, my church; it is everywhere we go! All because my husband was willing to read these two books, saw the truth and CHANGED! I am simply ENJOYING the benefits! I sowed for many years to get this miracle!

Second letter from Michelle, received on January 14th.

Dear Joel and Kathy,

I am finally being treated like a human being for the first time in my marriage!

I am amazed how good it feels to be treated with true, unconditional love by my husband constantly. This feeling is better than having a million dollars!

In the past, we were not successful staying in patience in the car when Chris was driving. Today was a different story! We were behind schedule and he had to go somewhere fast. He was tailgating the car in front hit the break to avoid a collision.

I was sitting in the passenger seat and screamed a little. In the past, before he changed, he would say he hates it when I react like that.

This time my Hubby reached over to me and said it would be just fine. He spoke so calmly and his kind tone calmed me down so quickly.

God’s peace on my husband is so thick. That peace has now come upon me and the glory of God is revealing things to me that have never been revealed to me before.

God began to show me that I have been affected by fear toward my husband in the past. As God began to reveal these things to me, I saw that fear, insecurity, nervousness, immature and negative thoughts in me being to leave me!

Where was I when I was receiving these revelations? I was watching the movie “Toy Story” with my babies! I was getting all this revelation about myself and at the same time being set free from it by this illumination from Holy Spirit.

Just like the Apostle Paul said in Ephesians 1:

That the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give to you the spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of Him, 18 the eyes of your understanding[c] being enlightened; that you may know what is the hope of His calling, what are the riches of the glory of His inheritance in the saints, 19 and what is the exceeding greatness of His power toward us who believe, according to the working of His mighty power!

The Spirit of revelation was shining upon my soul! As the light of God was shining, all darkness was being dispelled out of me.

The same Spirit of God that has been upon my husband is now upon me and He is cleaning me up too!

I realize that Chris and I are truly one entity. Whatever he gets from God, it comes to me too.

As Chris showed me unconditional love; which was the heart of God through Chris, that love was penetrating into my soul with healing. He was mending, revealing and dispelling darkness that was in me.

Basically my inner healing is being done because the love of God in Chris is so genuine and pure and sincere. It is taking me to next level in my love walk.

I can love people better now, because Chris is filling me with the love of God and makes me overflow with joy.

My Hubby is causing a revival in my heart!

God only needed one person to die to bring peace on this earth.

And still God is looking for that husband who will die for His kingdom to be manifested in your marriage, your family, your church, your city, your nation.

I think Chris has been chosen to do this and I believe that the favor of God is on him. I believe God will make him a great nation to show God’s glory and power to this dark world.

He is already doing it, being used as a leader to bring the glory of God in his wife and his kids first, then to the church and then to unchurched people.

I am constantly fed with the love of God by my husband.

It tastes so good, just like tasting God Himself. My marriage now feels like I am getting a taste of heaven on earth!

Now I know why most Christian women look so miserable, grumpy, sick and overweight; their husbands are feeding their wives bad stuff. I just can’t wait till their husbands get this revelation of their true role in bringing love and healing to their wives.

Thank you Joel and Kathy

I have never met a man or couple who have a marriage that is like what you are teaching. I had resorted to treating my Hubby like one of my kids because he acted like one in the past. Yes, I did not know any different, so I was happy with this big kid even though he got on my nerves – because after all, that is what kids do! They get on their parents nerves sometimes!

I was a happy wife with him (not realizing that a husband is supposed to be a grown up!)

Now I am happier – and I am liking my grown up husband much better!

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{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }

Bronny September 4, 2010 at 6:23 pm

Great story! Thank you for sharing. May I suggest you change the title? I actually thought that “Dad” had undergone a surgical operation for the purpose of birth control. I figured this wasn’t the case, and so read the article, however, the title is a *little* misleading :) !
God Bless!

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